It's Not Fair!!!

The thing that will most drive me crazy is when my kids tell me "it's not fair". This phrase, or the tone of voice which accompany's the phrase comes up far too often and is enough to send me over the edge sometimes. But, you know, to some extent I have to remember that they're kids and it's part of the learning and growing process. Hell, even I do it from time to time, in my own self-wallowing pitying way.

But to be honest, when I hear it from adults (or people who, merely by virtue of their age are adults) it's enough to send me reeling. I'm not talking about life things, "it's not fair that my father had to pass away" types of things, those are kind of expected. But, when you hear it from people who think "it's not fair that I got pulled over for a speeding ticket." or "it's not fair that someone makes more money than me." or anything along those lines, I just think to myself, are you kidding?

Life totally sucks sometimes and it's not fair. That's the way life is. So you have three options, do something to change your circumstance (don't speed, find another job, negotiate a pay rise), change your attitude, or sit and be pissed off about the situation.

At the end of the day it's your choice how you respond. I have so many examples around me of people who choose one of the first two options that I feel pathetic when I opt for the third.

My mother was widowed with 4 daughters at the age of 44. That's not fair. That's shitty to be honest. She could have chosen to feel bad about it and go to everyone else to do things for her. But, she realized it's part of the whole spectrum of life thing, she carried on and did quite well. Yes, she is like the rest of us, and perhaps had some very rough days, weeks, months years, but overall, she rose above it and still made her life worth living.

My children have been through more in their lives than most people have by the time they reached adulthood. Their mother told them straight to their faces that she never wanted to have children, and then left them in the care of other people. Prior to that, they were living with her and my oldest, when I remind her that it's my job to be mom and not hers, says to me "it's hard to change when I basically had to be mom to my brother and sister from the time I was 4". They had more men in their lives to call "dad" than I have had underwear (ok, that may be an exaggeration, I don't wear underwear...hahahaha...I crack myself up), the home they lived in was filthy, with feces and other types of filth all over. And now look at them? They are gorgeous, thriving young people who have the world in front of them and realize they can be more than a waitress when they grow up. Sure their life is "not fair" but they wake up every morning with huge smiles on their faces ready to bring smiles to others.

So, while it may not be "fair". It's our own attitudes that make the difference on how we react to our situations.

You choose!