Mythbusters: Men are Simple Creatures

I’ve heard it said by men all over the world: “We’re not hard to understand. We’re simple creatures really. We’re just straightforward. Take me for face value. What you see is what you get” And I think these “truths” have been said so many times by so many sources that women have begun to believe that this truly is the case. We’ve believed the lies about their simplicity, perhaps to a fault.

When a man says “I had a good time tonight and I look forward to seeing you again,” we go back in our minds and repeat to ourselves “Men are not hard to understand, they’re simple creatures really. Straightforward. Just take them for face value. What I see is what I get.” So, we believe that they really did have a good time. They really do look forward to seeing us again. And yet, we don’t. We go back to our homes and expect that he’s going to call us. And he doesn’t. So, we make, perhaps, one phone call or send one text. This is an upbeat message about looking forward to seeing him again, or having had a good time or thanking him again for a good time, something along those lines. And then nothing again.

So then we’re told, or we tell ourselves, I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. I shouldn’t have expected too much. But was it really me placing an expectation on him? Or was it me believing the myth about the simplicity of men? I didn’t ask if he had a good time. I didn’t ask if he wanted to see me again. Those bits of information for provided on a voluntary basis. So why am I the one who is frowned upon for getting my hopes up?

Men, if you are simple and straightforward creatures then why do you insist on saying things that are not straightforward. If you didn’t have a god time or don’t want to see me again then the straightforward comment is not “I had a good time and I look forward to seeing you again.” The simple, straightforward comment is “Let’s be honest, I really didn’t have a great time and I probably won’t be seeing you again. Good luck to you in the future.” THIS, my dear male friends, may be shocking for her to hear. She may be taken aback but, in the end it will save her hours of wonder. And if she’s ever so slightly psycho it will save you the many, many psycho crazy phone calls, texts, voice messages, etc. But, please keep in mind, not all of us are psycho. I will typically make one attempt at contacting the man. If I get no response I simply brush it off as him not being emotionally immature enough to say what he’s thinking. Oh well…not the type of person I want to spend a lot of time with anyway.

Now, I’ve mentioned this to many a man and the response I always get is: “I can’t say that to a girl. Then she’ll start asking a bunch of questions about why not and don’t I think she’s good enough for me and I’ll get dragged into a conversation I don’t want nor am I prepared to have.” I’ve heard this argument over and over and perhaps this is true with many girls. But not all. So I say to my women friends out there. If you want to know what a man is thinking o feeling then PLEASE don’t go psycho-bitch on you when he does! All you’re telling him is that you really don’t want to know the truth. You want to hear the right answer, not the truth.

For those of us who have children we’ve tried hard to teach our kids this lesson. Sometimes the truth hurts and the answer isn’t always yes. Deal with it. As women we need to take the same advice. If he tells you the truth and it’s not what you want to hear, deal with it.

Another level to the answer of “I can’t say that to a girl…” Well, perhaps you’re right. Perhaps you CAN’T say that to a girl. Try, however, saying it to a woman, maybe you’ll get a different reaction. In fact, try dating a woman, maybe you’ll get a different result than the one you’ve always gotten when you’ve dated girls.

I’ve been dating men between the ages of 30 and 50 and although they all SAY they want intelligent, honest women who don’t play the games, what they really want is a woman who will buy into the lie “I’m simple and straightforward. “

I know I’ve only talked about one area where this myth is inaccurate, but let’s be honest, no one has the time to keep reading my rant. Let me finish by saying:

Women: Don’t buy into the myth. Just like any stereo type, it may be the case that some men are simple and straightforward but just because he’s a man, doesn’t make it so.

Men: Either be simple and straightforward, like you claim, by telling the truth or stop claiming this to be the case.