Another Story in the Life of Alison --- May Not Be Suitable For all Viewing Audiences...

Some of this may be familiar to those of you who read Amy's blog the two of us had a nice rant today and she beat me to the punch on writing about it:

Saturday Night. All dressed up to go out dancing. My really good friend Amy and I head out to the club. We go for the music and to just let loose and dance. No expectations of meeting men but, of course, hoping we get noticed, but really, just there to dance. Going out and dancing is something Amy and I really enjoy doing, and do it quite regularly. Fun to get dressed up and fun to not have a care in the world when the music starts.

This particular Saturday we find a table next to three cowboys. We aren’t at a country-western club so they seem a bit out of place but they are all quite cute and we don’t mind having them at the table next to ours. In fact a couple of times we ask them to guard our table while we’re out dancing so no one takes our spot…tables are hard to come by you know.

Cowboys begin to relax a bit and start talking with us and we get all their names, although I can only remember one of them now. But that’s fine since it’s the one I can remember about whom I’m going to tell you right now. We’ll call this cowboy Brandon.

Brandon is a bit short for my taste but man, is he a cutie! And as my hand brushes against his arm I can feel that it’s ROCK solid! Hard as steel. I will now sound incredibly superficial – yummy! And then my hand brushes, accidentally of course (hehe) across his chest and once again, solid…YUMMMY (oops, I’m superficial again).

Brandon seemed like a nice guy, easy to talk to (well as easy as it can be in a club, right), was funny, and of course, as mentioned above, yummy! It is immediately obvious that he’s very much into Amy. However, he’s a nice guy so he buys us both drinks…I had already had my limit for the night so, although I accepted, I only took about one or two sips….he finished the rest off. Now, guys, women aren’t stupid. We can tell when you’re into our friends and when you aren’t into us. But, Brandon, being the ever nice guy that he is, still flirts with me as well. In fact, he suggests that Amy and I both go home with him, spend the night, and he would take us to breakfast in the morning.

NICE! The dream of most men to have two women spend the night, right? Well, having been in a marriage where the last four years of the relationship I played second fiddle to another woman, I had promised that I would NEVER again be the second choice. As I mentioned before, it was VERY obvious right away that Brandon was into Amy and not to me and although the flirting was fun, I’m not going home with a man who views me as being “second”. Plus, for those of you who knew me in the past and not now, yes, I have changed a lot from the person I once was, but not so much as to go home with a man I don’t know and just met an hour before in the club.

I thanked Brandon for the offer but turned him down saying “I’m really looking for more than that in a relationship right now.” Now Brandon was offended…”You don’t even know me, you don’t know what I want.” “You’re right, I don’t know you to make such a call, but it’s just not my style to go home with a stranger.” I did, however, continue to encourage him to work on Amy. She’s much less shy and reserved than I am and since she’s the one he was interested in, she’s the one that he would have a better chance with. I even coached him along a bit.

When Amy was called away to another table where some “boys” were interested in talking to her she went over and chatted for a while. Brandon said “see, she’s not interested in me.” I corrected him and advised that he walked over to that table, put his arm around her waist and whispered in her ear “I’m going to head to the mens room and then I’ll be ready to head out with you.” I promised him that if he had the balls to walk over to a table full of younger men and do that Amy would be well impressed. So, with a little encouragement, he did, and I was right…Amy was all over that.

After a few more dances Amy and Brandon left together and I went home. Texted Amy the next day. They had a great time, he was a super nice guy and yada yada yada…

Fastforward, if you will, to last night. I get a random text from an unknown number “what’s up” I respond…for those who don’t know, I just got a new phone and I don’t have all the numbers I used to have, so I respond just in case it’s one of the people whose number I have lost. Next text “When you gonna cum c me”. At this point I still don’t know who it is. My initial response is “never, since no one I know would spell come that way.” But, I resist and ask who it is. Reply “Brandon”.

Brandon? Cowboy Brandon? The one I met on Saturday night? The one who left the club with my wingman? The one who left the club and “yada, yada, yada’d” with one of my best friends? That Brandon? Now this is odd. He knows that we are friends. We were at the club together, we were telling him about each other…we obviously know each other very well…Surely he knows that I know that they…But then again, maybe he doesn’t get that, men are simple creatures, right?

We exchange one, maybe two more texts in which I ask if he had fun on Saturday night with Amy and his response was “it was alright”. Now let me get one thing straight here. I know Amy. I’ve known Amy for a long time. I’ve known men who have been with Amy and one thing I know for sure about Amy is that if a man is with Amy it’s NEVER just “alright” So, I think to myself, let the lying begin.

About this time I head for bed. I suspect that he is going to text me again and the last thing I want is to be just dozing off and to have my phone go off so, I turn off the sound and go to sleep. What a great night sleep I had! I found that when I sleep with an eye mask on I’m actually able to sleep sounder, but, I digress. I wake in the morning at 5ish to make my nightly trip to the bathroom and check my phone. Two missed messages. One at midnight and one at 4:30. I don’t check the messages. Just notice they are there and head back to sleep. Finally at 7 I wake up again for the day. I check again and one more missed message. 5:30.

So, I start checking them to see what they are and who they’re from. Brandon, Brandon, Brandon. All three are nearly identical in nature, all if and when I will “cum c me”. Does this guy ever sleep? So around 10:00 I ask him if he ever sleeps. His response? “I’m in bed now. U shud cum c me” the next several texts from him are similar in nature…

I know that you’re all bored at this point, and to be honest, so am I. So when he asks “do u want 2 cum c me?” I say “perhaps” and then call Amy to find out what the deal is. World to my male readers at this point…women do talk. We share stories, and experiences and don’t be fool enough to think that we won’t. Amy says that he’s been texting her all day too and it’s driving her nuts.

Okay, so this guy is now working us both. He tells her that he’s not at all interested in me, he just didn’t think she was interested in him so he was going to move on…oh dear! He tells me that she was just “alright”.

When I get off the phone with Amy, now, fully worked up and in total rant mode, there is another text from Brandon “what does that mean?” I think are you an idiot? Perhaps means maybe…look it up. But instead I say to him the best thing I have ever said to a man:

WARNING: WHAT FOLLOWS MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME. DO NOT CONTINUE READING IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED

“Honestly, you already fucked my best friend. I don’t settle for second place and sloppy seconds aren’t my style. So with no more beating around the bush, I’m not interested.”

So, to my male friends out there take heed. Not all women will put up with your shit. Women will and do talk. The Dick Dial*(thanks Amy) is not cool…more annoying than the drunk dial, really. If the skinny friend turns you down, don’t move in on the fat friend. The fat girl isn’t stupid and any woman of worth, regardless of size, will not settle for being second choice.

To my women friends: Don’t settle for less. Don’t allow men to treat you like shit, even if it’s just in the early stages. Always put on your A game and expect the A game from him. If you get the C game, which is what most of us allow, then put your foot down. But, no matter what game your getting from him, YOU take the higher road, YOU put on your A game and YOU settle for nothing less than what you’re worth. Which, by the way, is everything.