The Break-Up

One of the joys of being single is the almost inevitable break-up. Let's face it, when you're single, all but one relationship that you have will end in a break-up. Always, there's no getting around it. So that inevitable happened last night, and thanks to modern technology, it happened via text. Yes, I said it, by text! That's bad, I know it's bad and a sign that perhaps that was the better option.

I've been dating this guy for just a short while now so not too much heart-break there, it's more the reasoning behind the break-up that really bugs. I can handle if I'm annoying, or too controlling or too, fat, or too whatever, but this one was ever so different.

Let me preface that this individual, we'll call him Ben, had been married previously and is now a widower. Ben's wife had a son from a previous marriage. Ben spent the years of their marriage building a strong relationship with her son. The son called him dad and they were, for all intents and purposes, father and son. Upon her passing the state did not allow Ben to have custody of his son. Instead son was placed in custody with his natural father (who hadn't seen the son for the entire marriage).

So, Ben's problem with me, and the reason for the break-up was because the kids aren't MY kids. If I had three kids that were my natural kids he would have been fine. But, since they aren't mine, and their mother could come back at any time and ask to have them back (and the state would give them back to her)then he didn't want to get involved. To put it in his words "I don't know if I want to work so hard on a family I don't know will be there tomorrow. It's not fair to them or me. I just don't see this as being a good position for anyone. You're great and I miss you and I really do love you. I want to stop before I'm in love with you."

So, go figure, huh? This time my relationship woes are because I went out of my way to give a home to children in need.

Ahh, the joys of being single...did I mention I hate shoveling snow?