My cute baby girl dressed up warm for Thanksgiving.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Holidays 2011
My cute baby girl dressed up warm for Thanksgiving.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Teach Your Children Well
Last night we went to a public place to watch a public event. Upon arriving we set up our family's little area, laying out blankets, setting up a food table, setting up camp chairs, etc. Making a little space for ourselves amongst all the other people who were making spaces for themselves. To our left was, what appeared to be, a large family reunion type group with many, many children ranging in age from new born to older teens.
As we were setting up the children from this large group kept walking through our family space. I don't mean sort of through the edges, I mean THROUGH it. over our blankets, moving our chairs out of their way, through our eating area, etc. We weren't in the path, in fact, not four feet away from our space was a large sidewalk - at least 4 - 6 feet wide - plenty of space.
My kids got annoyed by this before I did (which, these days is pretty tough to do since EVERYTHING annoys me). My kids would come up and say, "mom, isn't it rude that they're walking through our stuff?" We then all sat down to eat and these other kids continued to walk through our meal time. We started asking them, to please go around. At NO point did the parents try to correct their children and tell them its rude to walk through our stuff and over our blankets.
Finally, my 14 year old took matters into her own hands. She went to the car, got out the duct tape and taped off a space - a sort of wall if you will - to prevent the kids from walking through. As she did this, the parents next to us gave us weird looks as if we were mildly crazy - perhaps, but only being driven crazy by your children who have, obviously been taught no manners.
Guess, what? the tape didn't work, the kids would then go UNDER the tape - instead of side stepping a few feet to go on the sidewalk - and walk through our area, over our blankets where we're eating and relaxing, etc. So, at one point a child stopped, looked at Stasia and Stasia said "go around" he looked at her again, and walked right across the blanket. Nate and I both said "can you go around?" And at this point the mother of the child jumped all over us telling us what horrible people we are and to not talk to her children, EVER! "How can you even come out of the house?" She shouts at me when I tell her we've asked her children for hours to go around and not walk on our stuff. "I don't get why it's such a big deal" She shouts. Things got out of hand and I was about to jump up and slap the woman if Nate hadn't calmed me down (don't mess with the pregnant woman)
She doesn't think it's a big deal that her children have absolutely no respect for people or things around them? That, as a result of her children's bad behavior and lack of respect for others, we had to barricade ourselves into a small space in an attempt to keep children (and mind you, the children who were walking through were NOT The little ones - they were anywhere from 7 - 10 and should have known better).
Now I'm left wondering about parenting - I freely admit that I'm a strict parent. My children have certain expectations about manners and decency, especially when in public. But at what point have parents stopped telling their children "no"? At what point have parents stopped teaching their children how to be polite? At what point have parents stopped teaching their children to respect people and to respect others' things? At what point have parents decided that their children are infallible and stopped disciplining them?
I then found this article last night. http://www.babble.com/mom/work-family/parenting-style-controlling-parents-child-discipline/ And it appears that this, indeed, was not an anomaly, but, rather the trend in child rearing. And a trend that, I for one, find appalling.
However, I do try to teach my kids to accept their own responsibility in events and to examine how their actions led to the break down in communication or whatever so, I must do the same. Should I have mentioned something to the parents before hand? Yes, perhaps I should have. Should I have asked the parents to ask their children to not walk through our stuff? Yup, I failed in that arena as well. But, on the other had, it was going on for TWO HOURS and the parents were oblivious to their childrens behavior and that frustrates me even more than the poor behavior of the children - how can the children learn when the parents don't seem to care?
As we were setting up the children from this large group kept walking through our family space. I don't mean sort of through the edges, I mean THROUGH it. over our blankets, moving our chairs out of their way, through our eating area, etc. We weren't in the path, in fact, not four feet away from our space was a large sidewalk - at least 4 - 6 feet wide - plenty of space.
My kids got annoyed by this before I did (which, these days is pretty tough to do since EVERYTHING annoys me). My kids would come up and say, "mom, isn't it rude that they're walking through our stuff?" We then all sat down to eat and these other kids continued to walk through our meal time. We started asking them, to please go around. At NO point did the parents try to correct their children and tell them its rude to walk through our stuff and over our blankets.
Finally, my 14 year old took matters into her own hands. She went to the car, got out the duct tape and taped off a space - a sort of wall if you will - to prevent the kids from walking through. As she did this, the parents next to us gave us weird looks as if we were mildly crazy - perhaps, but only being driven crazy by your children who have, obviously been taught no manners.
Guess, what? the tape didn't work, the kids would then go UNDER the tape - instead of side stepping a few feet to go on the sidewalk - and walk through our area, over our blankets where we're eating and relaxing, etc. So, at one point a child stopped, looked at Stasia and Stasia said "go around" he looked at her again, and walked right across the blanket. Nate and I both said "can you go around?" And at this point the mother of the child jumped all over us telling us what horrible people we are and to not talk to her children, EVER! "How can you even come out of the house?" She shouts at me when I tell her we've asked her children for hours to go around and not walk on our stuff. "I don't get why it's such a big deal" She shouts. Things got out of hand and I was about to jump up and slap the woman if Nate hadn't calmed me down (don't mess with the pregnant woman)
She doesn't think it's a big deal that her children have absolutely no respect for people or things around them? That, as a result of her children's bad behavior and lack of respect for others, we had to barricade ourselves into a small space in an attempt to keep children (and mind you, the children who were walking through were NOT The little ones - they were anywhere from 7 - 10 and should have known better).
Now I'm left wondering about parenting - I freely admit that I'm a strict parent. My children have certain expectations about manners and decency, especially when in public. But at what point have parents stopped telling their children "no"? At what point have parents stopped teaching their children how to be polite? At what point have parents stopped teaching their children to respect people and to respect others' things? At what point have parents decided that their children are infallible and stopped disciplining them?
I then found this article last night. http://www.babble.com/mom/work-family/parenting-style-controlling-parents-child-discipline/ And it appears that this, indeed, was not an anomaly, but, rather the trend in child rearing. And a trend that, I for one, find appalling.
However, I do try to teach my kids to accept their own responsibility in events and to examine how their actions led to the break down in communication or whatever so, I must do the same. Should I have mentioned something to the parents before hand? Yes, perhaps I should have. Should I have asked the parents to ask their children to not walk through our stuff? Yup, I failed in that arena as well. But, on the other had, it was going on for TWO HOURS and the parents were oblivious to their childrens behavior and that frustrates me even more than the poor behavior of the children - how can the children learn when the parents don't seem to care?
Monday, March 14, 2011
Stupid Things About Being Pregnant - TMI? - Not for the Weak of Heart
Let me forewarn all readers that what follows may be considered TMI by some people. I don't often hesitate about speaking my mind and to me, often times, nothing is off limits - and at the end of the day this is my blog and these are things that are happening in my life right now and it's all so new to me that I have to share it somehow. Also, just because I'm listing the stupid things, don't think that I'm not excited and totally in love with the idea of giving birth - just not always in love with all the changes going on in my body.
There's your warning so if you continue reading you may be doing so at your own risk.
As most of you know by now, I'm expecting my first baby. This is a long-awaited event for me and I'll be 37 by the time baby comes along but Nate (who will be 39 and it'll be his first as well) are both very excited about this event. In preparation for baby to arrive I, being of the digital age, have joined an online support group for women who are due in September and are over the age of 35 (that being the age when a woman becomes an "elderly pregnancy" lol - who knew I would be elderly already?)
Anyway, on this board to which I belong the women have been compiling a list of "Stupid Things About Being Pregnant". We're all just entering our second tri-mester so this is a list thus far in our pregnancies - I'm sure it'll expand as the months carry on.
1. Strangers will, unprovoked, tell you ridiculously personal things (“With my second child, I needed 16 stitches to sew my perineum back up!”). Labor horror stories and unsolicited parenting advice come a close second.
2. Strangers will, unprovoked, ask you ridiculously personal things (“Was this one planned? Were you trying?”). Your sex life becomes fair WikiLeaks fodder.
3. Get used to the “Is-she-pregnant-or-just-fat?” stare. If the observer decides "pregnant," you become an object of fascination.
4. If you tell someone you're pregnant, they will look at your belly. They will not be able to tear their eyes away; they must stare at your belly.
5. For you, it’s a miracle. For the ultrasound tech, it’s a yawn. Don’t be surprised if she is busy texting while you listen to your child’s heartbeat for the first time. True story.
6. When a husband goes to obstetrics, he might be treated like a wife at a car dealership: i.e. ignored, patronized, and excluded.
7. You become part of a weird club that measures everything in weeks when normal people would count in months. (After birth, you’ll be marking time in months while normal people are counting in years.)
8. Innocuous things will now seem more dire than they really are. For example, if you are enjoying a nice long bath and the pipes run out of hot water and you call out for your husband to please boil some water and fetch some clean towels—well, he might take it the wrong way.
9. Everything smells disgusting. You will smell weirdly specific things like shredded lettuce from a few hundred feet away. You can tell what brand deodorant other people use.
10. If you get morning sickness after eating something, you will never want to look at that food ever again. (Sorry, chicken.)
11. Exactly at the time when food seems most disgusting, pregnancy books will keep reminding you of it: “Your baby is now the size of an olive/strawberry/kumquat (what exactly IS a kumquat?).” “Aren’t you excited about your little butterbean/nugget/peanut?”
12. Cravings are for real. You will send your husband out with specific instructions to buy you a waffle cone. (“What do you mean what flavor ice cream? I want my waffle cone raw.”)
13. Any food or drink that ever brought you joy is now forbidden. A “wine and cheese party” is now just a “… party.”
14. You will narrow your eyes at your husband and wish he was a male seahorse. That would be awesome.
15. You will also feel jealous of marsupials. And birds (you’re good at sitting).
16. Toxic Gas! Need I say more?
17. You will buy a body pillow to help you sleep at night. You will name it Salma Hayek so neither you nor your husband will want to kick it out of bed.
18. You will feel a strange excitement when your embryo officially becomes a fetus, because that means that if some deranged lunatic killed you, he would legally be charged with TWO homicides, and you shall be doubly avenged.
19. Pregnancy message boards mean learning all new acronyms--forget any you thought you knew before. Otherwise, you'll read: "I'm a Female-To-Male and my Designated Hitter is ecxited about our new Designated Driver!"
20. Never offer an opinion or commentary on anyone’s choice of baby name. It doesn’t matter if they’re planning to spell “Mary” with 2 Ys and a silent K, or if they tell you they like “Effluvia” for a girl and “Midden” for a boy, they’re probably going to go ahead with it no matter what you say.
21. As soon as you finish dinner, you start thinking about breakfast. As soon as you finish breakfast, it's "hmm wonder what's for lunch?" and so on.
22. It is the only time in your life when I think you spend as much time in the bathroom to pee as you do sleeping.
23. Strangers, or anyone for that matter, think it's ok to touch or rub your pregnant belly! It's like cute belly=invitation to touch. My obgyn said this idea always amazes him how personal space is invaded...I mean, you wouldn't walk up to someone and grab their crotch "How you doin'?"...and we're not dogs...we don't need to sniff heineys...so rubbing bellies without permission? No thank you.
24. Sleeping does not make you less tired – you can sleep all day long and still be exhausted at 8:00 pm.
25. You have the attention span of a … oooo….what’s that? – Shiny!
26. The reason pregnant women "glow" is because all of those hormones surging through the body make every inch of our bodies and hair oily oily oily. It's not a glow you're seeing - it's the inability to decrease the amt of oil our bodies are producing.
27. You know you're going to be violently ill - you can feel it - but you also know that if you don't empty your bladder first there's going to be an even bigger mess to clean up afterward.
This is the list so far - have you been pregnant? What would YOU add?
Monday, January 24, 2011
A New Meaning to a Familiar Song
Just heard this song today for the millionth time - took on a whole new meaning to me this time...
I'm not surprised
Not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times
I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in
I talk myself out
I get all worked up
Then I let myself down
I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought I thought of every possibility
And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid that I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet
I might have to wait
I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing
And the other half's luck
Wherever you are
Whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere
And into my life
And I know that we can be so amazing
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility
And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet
They say all's fair in love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get right
And we'll be united
And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility
And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you kid I'll give more than I get
Than I get
Than I get
Than I get
Oh you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah I just haven't met you yet
I just haven't met you yet
Oh promise you kid to give so much more than I get
(I said love love love love love love love love)
I just haven't met you yet
(Love love love love love love)
Such a good day yeah
I just haven't met you yet
I'm not surprised
Not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times
I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in
I talk myself out
I get all worked up
Then I let myself down
I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought I thought of every possibility
And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid that I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet
I might have to wait
I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing
And the other half's luck
Wherever you are
Whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere
And into my life
And I know that we can be so amazing
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility
And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet
They say all's fair in love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get right
And we'll be united
And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility
And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you kid I'll give more than I get
Than I get
Than I get
Than I get
Oh you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah I just haven't met you yet
I just haven't met you yet
Oh promise you kid to give so much more than I get
(I said love love love love love love love love)
I just haven't met you yet
(Love love love love love love)
Such a good day yeah
I just haven't met you yet
Monday, March 29, 2010
Not Me Monday
Inspired by Brandie ( http://www.rudyfamilyrukus.com/2010/03/not-me-monday_29.html ) I'm joining in "Not Me Monday" -
I did NOT send my son to school in his pajamas because he forgot to take his clothes with him to grandmas to get dressed this morning. Not me. I would never be that cruel to my son.
And I most certainly did not spend the entire drive to grandmas this morning chewing out my children for not cleaning the car out yesterday like I had asked them to do.
And further, I would never, ever transition from being angry at them for not cleaning said car to using a guilt trip on them by saying "it really just makes me sad that, after the great weekend we just had, you couldn't do one little thing for me that asked." I would NEVER use that line of reasoning with my kids.
Finally, I'm not at all bitter that I have to go to work today when it's such a loverly, lovely day outside.
I did NOT send my son to school in his pajamas because he forgot to take his clothes with him to grandmas to get dressed this morning. Not me. I would never be that cruel to my son.
And I most certainly did not spend the entire drive to grandmas this morning chewing out my children for not cleaning the car out yesterday like I had asked them to do.
And further, I would never, ever transition from being angry at them for not cleaning said car to using a guilt trip on them by saying "it really just makes me sad that, after the great weekend we just had, you couldn't do one little thing for me that asked." I would NEVER use that line of reasoning with my kids.
Finally, I'm not at all bitter that I have to go to work today when it's such a loverly, lovely day outside.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
My Trek to the 5K
I'm going to run a 5K this year, damnit! I've been going to the gym about 5 times a week for the last 6 weeks and running, on average, about 2.5 miles. Now, I say running, but what I really mean is moving my arms and legs comparatively fast while on an elliptical. I've been told that this is very, very different from street running so I decided to concede and start today training by street running.
My 5K debut is going to May 15, 2010. Keeping that in mind, I have just under two months to train for this 5K. I have, since January 1, 2010 dropped a total of 34 pounds and lowered my BMI by 5.1 points. WOOT! Give it up for me. But, I still have a long way to go to be my goal weight. However, I believe, this is only 5K and even I, who is medically defined as obese can do a 5K, right?
So, I mapped out my round trip course around my neighborhood, changed into my gym clothes plus a jumper to keep me warm (Jumper = sweatshirt for those who don't speak British)and headed off.
Holy FUCK! I'm a terrible runner! Why did I not realize that I'm such a shitty runner? Ahh...I DID realize this. Thus the reason I've never really been a runner before. As soon as I set off I realized my body was all tense "relax" I kept telling myself over and over. "Don't over do it. This is just your first time running since, um the 10th grade - 1990 - 20 years ago - and you were a shitty runner back then too, remember?" "Keep breathing. Relax your stride." etc. I think all the calming talk stressed me out even more. Add to that the fact that I have terrible balance - I can fall over just by walking - in flat shoes - across flat land - with no cracks or bumps - and you can imagine how incredible I looked.
I ran about .2 miles before needing a break. Stellar, I know. And then I continued to alternate walking and running. This is good, I know. During one of my walking stretches a very attractive and VERY fit man goes jogging past me, kitted out in his top of the line running gear - compared to my oversized shorts (due to the weightloss) oversized jumper (due to my not being able to find another clean one today) and over-old running shoes (due to the fact that I'm about as broke as can be right now and can't afford new shoes). He looks over at me, gives me the thumbs up and says "great job!" HA What a nice guy.
Well, needless to say, I didn't run the full 3.1 miles today. I did, probably just under half. My body hurts worse than 2.5 - 3 miles on the elliptical and so do my lungs. Those silly machines are made to deceive us into believe we're making good progress...just like in the 80's and 90's when clothes makers started making womens clothes bigger with the same sizes on them...it's all deception I tell you.
But, here's the thing. I'm going to do this! I know that I can do it! I may be slow and it may be painful, but it's going to happen. I'm going to give myself the opportunity to build up to what I want to do and not let it overwhelm me.
If you're looking to start running as well, here's a site I'm using to help me out.
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
I'll keep you all updated on my progress.
Just FYI, I'd LOVE to have anyone and all of you join me for the run. Like I said, if I can do it, anyone can!!
My 5K debut is going to May 15, 2010. Keeping that in mind, I have just under two months to train for this 5K. I have, since January 1, 2010 dropped a total of 34 pounds and lowered my BMI by 5.1 points. WOOT! Give it up for me. But, I still have a long way to go to be my goal weight. However, I believe, this is only 5K and even I, who is medically defined as obese can do a 5K, right?
So, I mapped out my round trip course around my neighborhood, changed into my gym clothes plus a jumper to keep me warm (Jumper = sweatshirt for those who don't speak British)and headed off.
Holy FUCK! I'm a terrible runner! Why did I not realize that I'm such a shitty runner? Ahh...I DID realize this. Thus the reason I've never really been a runner before. As soon as I set off I realized my body was all tense "relax" I kept telling myself over and over. "Don't over do it. This is just your first time running since, um the 10th grade - 1990 - 20 years ago - and you were a shitty runner back then too, remember?" "Keep breathing. Relax your stride." etc. I think all the calming talk stressed me out even more. Add to that the fact that I have terrible balance - I can fall over just by walking - in flat shoes - across flat land - with no cracks or bumps - and you can imagine how incredible I looked.
I ran about .2 miles before needing a break. Stellar, I know. And then I continued to alternate walking and running. This is good, I know. During one of my walking stretches a very attractive and VERY fit man goes jogging past me, kitted out in his top of the line running gear - compared to my oversized shorts (due to the weightloss) oversized jumper (due to my not being able to find another clean one today) and over-old running shoes (due to the fact that I'm about as broke as can be right now and can't afford new shoes). He looks over at me, gives me the thumbs up and says "great job!" HA What a nice guy.
Well, needless to say, I didn't run the full 3.1 miles today. I did, probably just under half. My body hurts worse than 2.5 - 3 miles on the elliptical and so do my lungs. Those silly machines are made to deceive us into believe we're making good progress...just like in the 80's and 90's when clothes makers started making womens clothes bigger with the same sizes on them...it's all deception I tell you.
But, here's the thing. I'm going to do this! I know that I can do it! I may be slow and it may be painful, but it's going to happen. I'm going to give myself the opportunity to build up to what I want to do and not let it overwhelm me.
If you're looking to start running as well, here's a site I'm using to help me out.
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
I'll keep you all updated on my progress.
Just FYI, I'd LOVE to have anyone and all of you join me for the run. Like I said, if I can do it, anyone can!!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Understanding Boy Barbies
I grew up in a household of all girls so the idea of Barbies is not uncommon. Neither is the idea of the male Barbie (i.e. Ken). My parents didn't have any taboos about getting Ken dolls; except that we were poor so Ken dolls were few and far between due to lack of money. Or perhaps they just used no money as an excuse not to get them for us. I know I use that excuse a lot "Mommy can I have a candy bar?" "Nope, I don't have any money" as I proceed to buy myself something lovely that I don't really need but just strongly desire like a yummy soy mocha (nothing tastes yummier than mocha made with soy) but, I digress.
So, while I understand the young girl fascination with Barbies, I don't, or haven't yet come to terms with what I call the barbie for boys. My son, L, HATES this term. Let me explain, the other day he was telling me yet another thing he wants for Christmas; I can't remember everything he's asked for but at least he hasn't asked for a planet like one of my friends children have. He prefaces his request like this "You know mom, I really don't have any toys at your house to play with. If I did, maybe I would want to spend the night here more often" - he's a clever young man and has already begun to master the art of manipulation. "is that right, L?" "yeah, I was thinking about what kind of toys we should have here at your house. The one thing I really need is ONLY $16.50. So, do you have $16.50 I can borrow to get me it?".
Notice how he knows the exact price of the toy as well as uses the term "borrow", as if he's going to pay me back? I doubt it.
"Well, why don't you tell me what it is? It's Christmas time, you know, and all mama's extra money has to be sent to Santa Clause" I told my kids a few years back that the reason santa brings some kids more presents than others (they asked) was because Santa doesn't have enough money anymore to pay for all the toys the kids want so moms and dads have to send money to santa to help pay for the cost of the toys. "If you tell me what it is I can send the $16.50 to Santa and see if he'll bring the toy to you" Have I taken all the fun, joy and excitement out of Christmas? Perhaps but my kids still believe!
L then tells me about this COOL toy that is G.I. Joe Ninja's - both the black one AND the white one in one box "You get BOTH of them mom!" He tells me all about them and I say "Oh, so they're G.I. Joe, Barbies?"
That was the wrong thing to say. His jaw dropped to the ground and looked at me in disbelief as if I was calling him a girly boy or something. "NO! Not Barbie's!" "But it's like a Barbie, right? Except G.I. Joe and with guns?" "No, not anything like a Barbie mom, it's G.I. Joe." "Yes, I understand, but it's as big as a Barbie, right?" "Yeah, I guess so" "So, it's like a Barbie, it could be like Barbie's G.I. Joe husband or something" "Mo-om. G.I. Joe, is G.I. Joe. He can't be Barbie's husband." "why not?" "Because he's G.I. Joe" "Oh, but couldn't Barbie's husband job be being G.I. Joe?"
Of course at this point I'm just winding my son up and he is too dumbfounded at the THOUGHT of G.I. Joe being a Barbie that he just doesn't see the wind up. I then told him that mommy doesn't have enough money to buy the G.I. Joe's he wants but I could buy a Ken doll, which is a boy Barbie and I could buy army clothes and a gun for the Ken doll. - Now let's be honest, it's the same thing really, right?
The girls, btw, thought that I was being completely logical about the entire conversation and saw nothing wrong with what I was saying. Of course GI Joe could be Barbie's husband and of course it's the exact same thing but to a little boy,the notion that he's playing with a doll (which he is) seems to be far too overwhelming.
On a side note to the whole conversation when I mentioned that boys used to play with G.I. Joes when I was a kid L looked at me as if I was totally stupid and said "no, mom, this is the REAL G.I. Joe I'm talking about."
I'm wondering if I have any male readers who can shed some light on the whole G.I. Joe is not a doll thing because I'm still not convinced, but I let it go because it was blowing my sons mind.
So, while I understand the young girl fascination with Barbies, I don't, or haven't yet come to terms with what I call the barbie for boys. My son, L, HATES this term. Let me explain, the other day he was telling me yet another thing he wants for Christmas; I can't remember everything he's asked for but at least he hasn't asked for a planet like one of my friends children have. He prefaces his request like this "You know mom, I really don't have any toys at your house to play with. If I did, maybe I would want to spend the night here more often" - he's a clever young man and has already begun to master the art of manipulation. "is that right, L?" "yeah, I was thinking about what kind of toys we should have here at your house. The one thing I really need is ONLY $16.50. So, do you have $16.50 I can borrow to get me it?".
Notice how he knows the exact price of the toy as well as uses the term "borrow", as if he's going to pay me back? I doubt it.
"Well, why don't you tell me what it is? It's Christmas time, you know, and all mama's extra money has to be sent to Santa Clause" I told my kids a few years back that the reason santa brings some kids more presents than others (they asked) was because Santa doesn't have enough money anymore to pay for all the toys the kids want so moms and dads have to send money to santa to help pay for the cost of the toys. "If you tell me what it is I can send the $16.50 to Santa and see if he'll bring the toy to you" Have I taken all the fun, joy and excitement out of Christmas? Perhaps but my kids still believe!
L then tells me about this COOL toy that is G.I. Joe Ninja's - both the black one AND the white one in one box "You get BOTH of them mom!" He tells me all about them and I say "Oh, so they're G.I. Joe, Barbies?"
That was the wrong thing to say. His jaw dropped to the ground and looked at me in disbelief as if I was calling him a girly boy or something. "NO! Not Barbie's!" "But it's like a Barbie, right? Except G.I. Joe and with guns?" "No, not anything like a Barbie mom, it's G.I. Joe." "Yes, I understand, but it's as big as a Barbie, right?" "Yeah, I guess so" "So, it's like a Barbie, it could be like Barbie's G.I. Joe husband or something" "Mo-om. G.I. Joe, is G.I. Joe. He can't be Barbie's husband." "why not?" "Because he's G.I. Joe" "Oh, but couldn't Barbie's husband job be being G.I. Joe?"
Of course at this point I'm just winding my son up and he is too dumbfounded at the THOUGHT of G.I. Joe being a Barbie that he just doesn't see the wind up. I then told him that mommy doesn't have enough money to buy the G.I. Joe's he wants but I could buy a Ken doll, which is a boy Barbie and I could buy army clothes and a gun for the Ken doll. - Now let's be honest, it's the same thing really, right?
The girls, btw, thought that I was being completely logical about the entire conversation and saw nothing wrong with what I was saying. Of course GI Joe could be Barbie's husband and of course it's the exact same thing but to a little boy,the notion that he's playing with a doll (which he is) seems to be far too overwhelming.
On a side note to the whole conversation when I mentioned that boys used to play with G.I. Joes when I was a kid L looked at me as if I was totally stupid and said "no, mom, this is the REAL G.I. Joe I'm talking about."
I'm wondering if I have any male readers who can shed some light on the whole G.I. Joe is not a doll thing because I'm still not convinced, but I let it go because it was blowing my sons mind.
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Christmas Door
Following is T's Christmas story she wrote for a school assignment. She received an "A" on it - for my daughter who struggles to get "C"'s this is a HUGE accomplishment!
Once upon a time, there were two kids named Lucy and Kipper. They lived really close to a forest. Lucy and Kipper are twins but they don’t act like it and they don’t look like it. Lucy has blonde hair and hazel eyes. She’s 12 years old and acts like a prissy little girl. Kipper has golden eyes like his dad does but has brown hair instead of blonde. Kipper is the brave one of the twins. He’s not afraid of anything and when I say anything, I mean ANYTHING!
Lucy and Kipper were playing hide and go seek and they kept getting farther and farther into the forest. Lucy found these doors. One had a turkey on it, one had a heart on it, one had a Christmas tree, one had a pumpkin and one had a really colorful egg. She figured out that each door was about a different holiday. She looked at this tree and it represented Christmas so she went inside it to hide and that is how our story begins.
When she went through the door she fell down into this big black hole. She was really cold. She opened her eyes and there was snow everywhere and she saw a sign that said “Christmas Town”. So she went and looked around. She saw elves everywhere playing around with ducks and cats but then something pulled her out. This big huge hand pulled her out of Christmas Town because someone had followed her. It was her dad! So the dad said “What are you doing? You know better than to just run off.” Kipper was with his dad too and was in trouble too.
They all went home to have a nice cup of tea. So the next day Lucy and Kipper went back into the forest to try and find the Christmas door. They went in there and it was really dark out there. It was Christmas night so Santa came and they heard him. “Ho, ho, ho!” They got really scared so they hid behind the sign. They looked back and there was nothing there but when they turned around there was Santa, right in front of their faces. So they screamed and Santa screamed. They both ran off into someone’s house. So they hid under the bed and Santa, he went into a toilet and he got stuck there, but they were in the same house though.
So they heard a noise that went “arrrrgggghhh” like someone was stuck. They looked everywhere and there was Santa stuck in the toilet, trying to get out, and he said “Kids, don’t be afraid of me, can you help me out?” So the kids helped him out and he asked what their names were but they didn’t say because they were too shocked to see Santa in real life. They thought that it was their dad who had brought presents to them, not a real Santa.
Their dad was a widower, if you all don’t know what that is, a widower is a man whose wife died. Just like a widow but with an “er”.
So the dad went looking for them. He thought that they went into the Halloween Town. So he looked in there but he fell down because there was a big huge wind blowing at them. So he got really frightened so he didn’t know what to do. He tried to get out but he couldn’t so he just went to look around. He saw tons of creatures: Monsters, vampires, scary people, wolves, mummies. So they all caught him and they took him to this green liquid which was probably acid. So he started screaming “kids help!” So the kids heard him so Santa flew them out of the door and Santa was with them. So they looked in every door and yelled out “DAD!” So they went to the last door and it was the pumpkin door.
So they went in there and they said “DAD” and dad was like “Kids?” And so they flew down there and Santa rescued the dad. And the all went home, Santa even went home too. So the dad was really scared but then the step mom tried to find them. She looked into the Halloween town and so she went in there to find him. And she found no one except all those creatures. And she was dead forever and ever.
The End!
Once upon a time, there were two kids named Lucy and Kipper. They lived really close to a forest. Lucy and Kipper are twins but they don’t act like it and they don’t look like it. Lucy has blonde hair and hazel eyes. She’s 12 years old and acts like a prissy little girl. Kipper has golden eyes like his dad does but has brown hair instead of blonde. Kipper is the brave one of the twins. He’s not afraid of anything and when I say anything, I mean ANYTHING!
Lucy and Kipper were playing hide and go seek and they kept getting farther and farther into the forest. Lucy found these doors. One had a turkey on it, one had a heart on it, one had a Christmas tree, one had a pumpkin and one had a really colorful egg. She figured out that each door was about a different holiday. She looked at this tree and it represented Christmas so she went inside it to hide and that is how our story begins.
When she went through the door she fell down into this big black hole. She was really cold. She opened her eyes and there was snow everywhere and she saw a sign that said “Christmas Town”. So she went and looked around. She saw elves everywhere playing around with ducks and cats but then something pulled her out. This big huge hand pulled her out of Christmas Town because someone had followed her. It was her dad! So the dad said “What are you doing? You know better than to just run off.” Kipper was with his dad too and was in trouble too.
They all went home to have a nice cup of tea. So the next day Lucy and Kipper went back into the forest to try and find the Christmas door. They went in there and it was really dark out there. It was Christmas night so Santa came and they heard him. “Ho, ho, ho!” They got really scared so they hid behind the sign. They looked back and there was nothing there but when they turned around there was Santa, right in front of their faces. So they screamed and Santa screamed. They both ran off into someone’s house. So they hid under the bed and Santa, he went into a toilet and he got stuck there, but they were in the same house though.
So they heard a noise that went “arrrrgggghhh” like someone was stuck. They looked everywhere and there was Santa stuck in the toilet, trying to get out, and he said “Kids, don’t be afraid of me, can you help me out?” So the kids helped him out and he asked what their names were but they didn’t say because they were too shocked to see Santa in real life. They thought that it was their dad who had brought presents to them, not a real Santa.
Their dad was a widower, if you all don’t know what that is, a widower is a man whose wife died. Just like a widow but with an “er”.
So the dad went looking for them. He thought that they went into the Halloween Town. So he looked in there but he fell down because there was a big huge wind blowing at them. So he got really frightened so he didn’t know what to do. He tried to get out but he couldn’t so he just went to look around. He saw tons of creatures: Monsters, vampires, scary people, wolves, mummies. So they all caught him and they took him to this green liquid which was probably acid. So he started screaming “kids help!” So the kids heard him so Santa flew them out of the door and Santa was with them. So they looked in every door and yelled out “DAD!” So they went to the last door and it was the pumpkin door.
So they went in there and they said “DAD” and dad was like “Kids?” And so they flew down there and Santa rescued the dad. And the all went home, Santa even went home too. So the dad was really scared but then the step mom tried to find them. She looked into the Halloween town and so she went in there to find him. And she found no one except all those creatures. And she was dead forever and ever.
The End!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Break-Up
One of the joys of being single is the almost inevitable break-up. Let's face it, when you're single, all but one relationship that you have will end in a break-up. Always, there's no getting around it. So that inevitable happened last night, and thanks to modern technology, it happened via text. Yes, I said it, by text! That's bad, I know it's bad and a sign that perhaps that was the better option.
I've been dating this guy for just a short while now so not too much heart-break there, it's more the reasoning behind the break-up that really bugs. I can handle if I'm annoying, or too controlling or too, fat, or too whatever, but this one was ever so different.
Let me preface that this individual, we'll call him Ben, had been married previously and is now a widower. Ben's wife had a son from a previous marriage. Ben spent the years of their marriage building a strong relationship with her son. The son called him dad and they were, for all intents and purposes, father and son. Upon her passing the state did not allow Ben to have custody of his son. Instead son was placed in custody with his natural father (who hadn't seen the son for the entire marriage).
So, Ben's problem with me, and the reason for the break-up was because the kids aren't MY kids. If I had three kids that were my natural kids he would have been fine. But, since they aren't mine, and their mother could come back at any time and ask to have them back (and the state would give them back to her)then he didn't want to get involved. To put it in his words "I don't know if I want to work so hard on a family I don't know will be there tomorrow. It's not fair to them or me. I just don't see this as being a good position for anyone. You're great and I miss you and I really do love you. I want to stop before I'm in love with you."
So, go figure, huh? This time my relationship woes are because I went out of my way to give a home to children in need.
Ahh, the joys of being single...did I mention I hate shoveling snow?
I've been dating this guy for just a short while now so not too much heart-break there, it's more the reasoning behind the break-up that really bugs. I can handle if I'm annoying, or too controlling or too, fat, or too whatever, but this one was ever so different.
Let me preface that this individual, we'll call him Ben, had been married previously and is now a widower. Ben's wife had a son from a previous marriage. Ben spent the years of their marriage building a strong relationship with her son. The son called him dad and they were, for all intents and purposes, father and son. Upon her passing the state did not allow Ben to have custody of his son. Instead son was placed in custody with his natural father (who hadn't seen the son for the entire marriage).
So, Ben's problem with me, and the reason for the break-up was because the kids aren't MY kids. If I had three kids that were my natural kids he would have been fine. But, since they aren't mine, and their mother could come back at any time and ask to have them back (and the state would give them back to her)then he didn't want to get involved. To put it in his words "I don't know if I want to work so hard on a family I don't know will be there tomorrow. It's not fair to them or me. I just don't see this as being a good position for anyone. You're great and I miss you and I really do love you. I want to stop before I'm in love with you."
So, go figure, huh? This time my relationship woes are because I went out of my way to give a home to children in need.
Ahh, the joys of being single...did I mention I hate shoveling snow?
Monday, December 7, 2009
Realizations
It's 6:30 Monday morning and where do you find me? Outside, shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. Not really what I want to do on a Monday morning. As I'm out in the cold clearing the way for the car I came to a couple of realizations about being a single mom.
1. Don't move into a corner lot. Yes, it has a bigger yard for the kids but honestly, it just means more sidewalk to shovel and more grass to mow.
2. The perfect reason to get into a relationship with someone at this point in my life is to NOT have to shovel the sidewalks again...is that good enough reason?
3. Next time I move it'll be into an apartment. No, we won't have as much space but, damn sure does beat shoveling sidewalks at 6:30 in the morning.
4. I'm the only house in the neighborhood who has shoveled their sidewalks the last three days. Am I an idiot? Maybe I don't have to in this neighborhood.
5. I'm also the only one who doesn't have Christmas lights up. Where is my Christmas spirit? Lost in the shoveling of sidewalks.
6. Heater vents in cars make for great hair dryers when you spend the time you would have spent drying your hair shoveling your sidewalks instead.
7. Waking up with a black tongue is cause for concern until you realize you took Pepto Bismol the evening before.
8. Why am I shoveling sidewalks when I spent the day before being sick enough to have to gag down Pepto? Oh yeah, cause I'm single...good reason to find a man, right?
9. Wouldn't it be nice if we could put our gym memberships on hold during the snowy months? Because honestly, who needs to go to the gym when you have a corner lot and double wide drive to shovel?
10. If I go back to online dating do you think the headline "Looking for Man to Shovel my Sidewalks" will be a catchy title? I will then proceed to discuss how I don't necessarily need a man, I'm just tired of shoveling.
11. How much does a snowblower cost? Less than a man?
1. Don't move into a corner lot. Yes, it has a bigger yard for the kids but honestly, it just means more sidewalk to shovel and more grass to mow.
2. The perfect reason to get into a relationship with someone at this point in my life is to NOT have to shovel the sidewalks again...is that good enough reason?
3. Next time I move it'll be into an apartment. No, we won't have as much space but, damn sure does beat shoveling sidewalks at 6:30 in the morning.
4. I'm the only house in the neighborhood who has shoveled their sidewalks the last three days. Am I an idiot? Maybe I don't have to in this neighborhood.
5. I'm also the only one who doesn't have Christmas lights up. Where is my Christmas spirit? Lost in the shoveling of sidewalks.
6. Heater vents in cars make for great hair dryers when you spend the time you would have spent drying your hair shoveling your sidewalks instead.
7. Waking up with a black tongue is cause for concern until you realize you took Pepto Bismol the evening before.
8. Why am I shoveling sidewalks when I spent the day before being sick enough to have to gag down Pepto? Oh yeah, cause I'm single...good reason to find a man, right?
9. Wouldn't it be nice if we could put our gym memberships on hold during the snowy months? Because honestly, who needs to go to the gym when you have a corner lot and double wide drive to shovel?
10. If I go back to online dating do you think the headline "Looking for Man to Shovel my Sidewalks" will be a catchy title? I will then proceed to discuss how I don't necessarily need a man, I'm just tired of shoveling.
11. How much does a snowblower cost? Less than a man?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Blogging to Myself
Do you ever get the feeling you're blogging to yourself? Well, I guess its better than talking to yourself, right?
I've always said that talking to yourself is alright as long as you don't answer back. As soon as you answer back you know you've lost it.
Is it the same with blogging to yourself?
I've always said that talking to yourself is alright as long as you don't answer back. As soon as you answer back you know you've lost it.
Is it the same with blogging to yourself?
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Parent of the Year Award
This blog is dedicated to all the parents out there who have had one of "those" moments with their children. You know the ones, when you're in the company of others and your child says something that makes you wish you were about 2 cm tall and you could crawl away without anyone knowing that child belongs to you.
I hope that others can share their moments with me.
I had just one such tonight. We were in the car with my sister and her fiancee' (by the way, congratulations to Miriam on her engagement!) they were driving us home from my nephews 19th birthday party.
L started telling us about a video game he was playing "It's so cool! It has these cool turds..." All ears perk up...Did he just say his video game has turds? So we asked, we had all mis-heard, the game has "turrets" haha, our mistake! Mike asked what the name of the video game was and here he says "South Park" oh dear! This is a game he's playing at dads. And Miriam says "I'm surprised it isn't turds being from South Park, you know, Mr. Hanky?"
And here is when I become mother of the year:
L - "I was watching Mr. Hanky Christmas special and there was this guy in the outhouse who was shaking his butt to get Mr. Hanky off. And there was a kid at the end who pooed Mr. Hanky out into a bush."
And there you have it. Mother of the Year! Shining moment in my life as a mother. I'm sure you've all had yours too. Please join the fun and share them with me so I don't feel oh so bad.
I hope that others can share their moments with me.
I had just one such tonight. We were in the car with my sister and her fiancee' (by the way, congratulations to Miriam on her engagement!) they were driving us home from my nephews 19th birthday party.
L started telling us about a video game he was playing "It's so cool! It has these cool turds..." All ears perk up...Did he just say his video game has turds? So we asked, we had all mis-heard, the game has "turrets" haha, our mistake! Mike asked what the name of the video game was and here he says "South Park" oh dear! This is a game he's playing at dads. And Miriam says "I'm surprised it isn't turds being from South Park, you know, Mr. Hanky?"
And here is when I become mother of the year:
L - "I was watching Mr. Hanky Christmas special and there was this guy in the outhouse who was shaking his butt to get Mr. Hanky off. And there was a kid at the end who pooed Mr. Hanky out into a bush."
And there you have it. Mother of the Year! Shining moment in my life as a mother. I'm sure you've all had yours too. Please join the fun and share them with me so I don't feel oh so bad.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Best Ruling By a Judge Ever!
This language is found in a judgment recently entered against the Social Security Administration in a nationwide class action regarding its alleged failure to accommodate individuals with visual impairments in their written notices they send out. He obviously was not pleased with how SSA fought to support its position.
"SSA has spurned that opportunity and chosen to litigate on a class-wide basis. Moreover, until this litigation was underway, the agency refused to even
acknowledge that it was obligated to follow Section 504, routinely denying individual requests for accommodation. In this litigation, it has been quick to find lame excuses for noncompliance but exceedingly slow to favor accommodations. To merely order the agency to comply with Section 85.51 would lead to more lame excuses with no accommodations. Since the agency has chosen to litigate this case on a class-wide basis, this order will require relief on a class-wide basis. Consequently, the following relief is ordered:"
Next step, money that is usable by those who are blind or visually impaired.
"SSA has spurned that opportunity and chosen to litigate on a class-wide basis. Moreover, until this litigation was underway, the agency refused to even
acknowledge that it was obligated to follow Section 504, routinely denying individual requests for accommodation. In this litigation, it has been quick to find lame excuses for noncompliance but exceedingly slow to favor accommodations. To merely order the agency to comply with Section 85.51 would lead to more lame excuses with no accommodations. Since the agency has chosen to litigate this case on a class-wide basis, this order will require relief on a class-wide basis. Consequently, the following relief is ordered:"
Next step, money that is usable by those who are blind or visually impaired.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Meth Head with a Gun
I'm totally wired with caffeine today so if this blog makes no sense then my apologies up front.
Yesterday at around 3:40 I got a phone call from Ado, my ex husband. He was just calling to tell me that he had received a call from the neighborhood watch to tell him that the ex husband of one of his neighbors was strung out on meth and running through his neighborhood shooting things. The police were trying to find him but he will be keeping the girls at his house until they get word that the man has been apprehended. OKAY!!
What? did you hear that? A man is running through the neighborhood shooting things. My kids get out of school at 3:25. It's now 3:45, where are the kids? He informs me that all the kids are home and safe. Whew. Well, that's good, right? He'll keep the kids safe and will let me know when he's bringing the girls over to my place.
A few minutes later he calls me back to inform me he had made a mistake and the two little kids weren't home yet. L & T still had not gotten home. Is this where I'm supposed to start worrying? Where are my kids? School had gotten out 20 minutes prior and Ado does not live that far away from the school. He said that Mel (the new woman) was calling the school to find out if the school had been put on lock down or anything like that because of this man. He also said that the older kids weren't answering the phone at the house. Is NOW when I'm supposed to start worrying? Nope, I'm not to worry yet. Ado says he'll take care of it and he promises me to keep me informed as he gets updates. Oh, and the man also stole the car parked across the street from Ado's house and rolled it in the little park just a few doors down from Ado. Pleasant. Where are my kids?
I wait patiently for another ten minutes. Okay, not so patiently, at this point I can't focus on anything and am pacing up and down at work waiting to hear more news. Honestly, I could have headed home but it would have taken me at least 20 minutes to drive home and would have deemed not so productive. So I wait. After ten minutes I can't stand it anymore.
I called Ado's house and A answered the phone. "Hi A, this is mom. Is everyone home now?" "Yeah, everyone except T." WHAT?!?!? L is home but not T? How can this be? But before I can ask A starts telling me everything that's going on. I interrupt her and say "Yes, I know, your dad already told me. But I'm just trying to find out who is home. So, L is home but not T?" "oh", she says "L isn't home either." Is this good or bad? I don't know. Neither are home, school was let out about 40 minutes prior and the two little ones aren't home yet. But at least they're together? I told her I would call her back. Still nothing from Ado.
I called the school and asked if they had let the kids go at the usual time. "yes ma'am, school got out at 3:25 like it always does." Well, that was no help. The school let the kids out when there's a methed out man running through the neighborhood shooting things. I hung up and my phone immediately rang again. It's Ado.
"Hi Al. School let the kids out at the usual time", Yes, I already knew this, I called the school too, "apparently the police didn't tell the school that a meth head was running through the streets shooting. Not much the school can do now that they released the kids. A lot of other parents have called about this as well." Isn't this a pleasant situation? Kids walking the streets with a meth head who is shooting things (yes, with a gun). "Al, don't worry yet, there's no need for you to come out here, it's already dangerous enough. I'll let you know what's going on, I'm about 5 mins from home right now and I'll let you know when I know more."
So, I guess I'm not supposed to worry. Lovely.
Not much I can focus on at work at this point, except worrying. And him telling me not to worry really doesn't help much, does it? Or does it? No.
Five minutes later Ado calls again. "I just got home. The police pulled in behind me to tell me they had caught the guy and the kids walked around the corner at the same time. Everyone is safe and I'll take the girls over to your house."
Okay, I can stop worrying, right? Yes, I did. I got home and the little kids really had no idea what was going on, they were in their own little world wherein they walked a different way home because they missed seeing the little dogs at the house they used to walk by. Isn't it fun being a kid? They had seen the police cars, yes, but didn't think anything of it.
Glad my kids are safe and I have to say that I'm a huge fan of Theraflu. It's cold and flu season folks, please be kind to your colleagues and if you're sick, stay home, please?
Yesterday at around 3:40 I got a phone call from Ado, my ex husband. He was just calling to tell me that he had received a call from the neighborhood watch to tell him that the ex husband of one of his neighbors was strung out on meth and running through his neighborhood shooting things. The police were trying to find him but he will be keeping the girls at his house until they get word that the man has been apprehended. OKAY!!
What? did you hear that? A man is running through the neighborhood shooting things. My kids get out of school at 3:25. It's now 3:45, where are the kids? He informs me that all the kids are home and safe. Whew. Well, that's good, right? He'll keep the kids safe and will let me know when he's bringing the girls over to my place.
A few minutes later he calls me back to inform me he had made a mistake and the two little kids weren't home yet. L & T still had not gotten home. Is this where I'm supposed to start worrying? Where are my kids? School had gotten out 20 minutes prior and Ado does not live that far away from the school. He said that Mel (the new woman) was calling the school to find out if the school had been put on lock down or anything like that because of this man. He also said that the older kids weren't answering the phone at the house. Is NOW when I'm supposed to start worrying? Nope, I'm not to worry yet. Ado says he'll take care of it and he promises me to keep me informed as he gets updates. Oh, and the man also stole the car parked across the street from Ado's house and rolled it in the little park just a few doors down from Ado. Pleasant. Where are my kids?
I wait patiently for another ten minutes. Okay, not so patiently, at this point I can't focus on anything and am pacing up and down at work waiting to hear more news. Honestly, I could have headed home but it would have taken me at least 20 minutes to drive home and would have deemed not so productive. So I wait. After ten minutes I can't stand it anymore.
I called Ado's house and A answered the phone. "Hi A, this is mom. Is everyone home now?" "Yeah, everyone except T." WHAT?!?!? L is home but not T? How can this be? But before I can ask A starts telling me everything that's going on. I interrupt her and say "Yes, I know, your dad already told me. But I'm just trying to find out who is home. So, L is home but not T?" "oh", she says "L isn't home either." Is this good or bad? I don't know. Neither are home, school was let out about 40 minutes prior and the two little ones aren't home yet. But at least they're together? I told her I would call her back. Still nothing from Ado.
I called the school and asked if they had let the kids go at the usual time. "yes ma'am, school got out at 3:25 like it always does." Well, that was no help. The school let the kids out when there's a methed out man running through the neighborhood shooting things. I hung up and my phone immediately rang again. It's Ado.
"Hi Al. School let the kids out at the usual time", Yes, I already knew this, I called the school too, "apparently the police didn't tell the school that a meth head was running through the streets shooting. Not much the school can do now that they released the kids. A lot of other parents have called about this as well." Isn't this a pleasant situation? Kids walking the streets with a meth head who is shooting things (yes, with a gun). "Al, don't worry yet, there's no need for you to come out here, it's already dangerous enough. I'll let you know what's going on, I'm about 5 mins from home right now and I'll let you know when I know more."
So, I guess I'm not supposed to worry. Lovely.
Not much I can focus on at work at this point, except worrying. And him telling me not to worry really doesn't help much, does it? Or does it? No.
Five minutes later Ado calls again. "I just got home. The police pulled in behind me to tell me they had caught the guy and the kids walked around the corner at the same time. Everyone is safe and I'll take the girls over to your house."
Okay, I can stop worrying, right? Yes, I did. I got home and the little kids really had no idea what was going on, they were in their own little world wherein they walked a different way home because they missed seeing the little dogs at the house they used to walk by. Isn't it fun being a kid? They had seen the police cars, yes, but didn't think anything of it.
Glad my kids are safe and I have to say that I'm a huge fan of Theraflu. It's cold and flu season folks, please be kind to your colleagues and if you're sick, stay home, please?
Monday, September 28, 2009
My Day as a Stay at Home Mom
I stayed home with "T" today, because of her foot. Well, really I sent her to school and went to work but after she called me for the third time about how bad her foot was hurting I realized neither of us would get anything done at our respective locations so I went and picked her up.
Being a "stay at home mom" at least for one day, I decided to do something "momish" and make some home made cookies. But, the tricky part is I've been trying to have us eat healthy food lately and cookies aren't necessarily healthy. So I did some searching (hooray for the internet) and found this cookie recipe. http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/peanut-butter-cookies-recipe.html
No white sugar, whole wheat flour (which I actually had in my pantry), no eggs, organic peanut butter (which I actually already had in my pantry as well).
My review; slightly dry, but I ran out of one of the ingredients and had to alter it ever so slightly to make up for the difference. My kids LOVED them! And you can't even tell they're made with whole wheat flour. I've substituted whole wheat in a few recipes with limited success, but these were very fab and if you eat them with the soy milk then I think you would never be able to tell they're dry.
I think I'm going to use that site more often now.
And, it was fun being a stay at home mom; even if it was just for one day!
Being a "stay at home mom" at least for one day, I decided to do something "momish" and make some home made cookies. But, the tricky part is I've been trying to have us eat healthy food lately and cookies aren't necessarily healthy. So I did some searching (hooray for the internet) and found this cookie recipe. http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/peanut-butter-cookies-recipe.html
No white sugar, whole wheat flour (which I actually had in my pantry), no eggs, organic peanut butter (which I actually already had in my pantry as well).
My review; slightly dry, but I ran out of one of the ingredients and had to alter it ever so slightly to make up for the difference. My kids LOVED them! And you can't even tell they're made with whole wheat flour. I've substituted whole wheat in a few recipes with limited success, but these were very fab and if you eat them with the soy milk then I think you would never be able to tell they're dry.
I think I'm going to use that site more often now.
And, it was fun being a stay at home mom; even if it was just for one day!
Highlights and Lowlights.
An interesting weekend with the family...as weekends with families go.
I think overall we all drew a little bit closer, and of course, the food was good. :)
High Points - Spending the weekend at someone else's house so I didn't have to clean up my house. Barbecue. Winning all the arm wrestling matches (yeah, I still got it), and watching my son dance. He has rhythm...not so much the moves. Snickers birthday cake (yummy).
Midlights - being offered $500 + a husband for my PoS car. Yard sale...sorry mom, not a highlight, but not really a low light.
Lowlights - that one thing...those involved will know. T stepping on a screw, right as I knew the weekend was over and I could finally relax.
Loni's funny saying: "mom, I used to think that the blinker turned on in the car because they car knew where you were going and wanted to tell you it was time to turn. Now that I'm older I know that the blinker is because YOU need to tell the car it's time to turn now."
I think overall we all drew a little bit closer, and of course, the food was good. :)
High Points - Spending the weekend at someone else's house so I didn't have to clean up my house. Barbecue. Winning all the arm wrestling matches (yeah, I still got it), and watching my son dance. He has rhythm...not so much the moves. Snickers birthday cake (yummy).
Midlights - being offered $500 + a husband for my PoS car. Yard sale...sorry mom, not a highlight, but not really a low light.
Lowlights - that one thing...those involved will know. T stepping on a screw, right as I knew the weekend was over and I could finally relax.
Loni's funny saying: "mom, I used to think that the blinker turned on in the car because they car knew where you were going and wanted to tell you it was time to turn. Now that I'm older I know that the blinker is because YOU need to tell the car it's time to turn now."
Friday, September 25, 2009
It's Not Fair!!!
The thing that will most drive me crazy is when my kids tell me "it's not fair". This phrase, or the tone of voice which accompany's the phrase comes up far too often and is enough to send me over the edge sometimes. But, you know, to some extent I have to remember that they're kids and it's part of the learning and growing process. Hell, even I do it from time to time, in my own self-wallowing pitying way.
But to be honest, when I hear it from adults (or people who, merely by virtue of their age are adults) it's enough to send me reeling. I'm not talking about life things, "it's not fair that my father had to pass away" types of things, those are kind of expected. But, when you hear it from people who think "it's not fair that I got pulled over for a speeding ticket." or "it's not fair that someone makes more money than me." or anything along those lines, I just think to myself, are you kidding?
Life totally sucks sometimes and it's not fair. That's the way life is. So you have three options, do something to change your circumstance (don't speed, find another job, negotiate a pay rise), change your attitude, or sit and be pissed off about the situation.
At the end of the day it's your choice how you respond. I have so many examples around me of people who choose one of the first two options that I feel pathetic when I opt for the third.
My mother was widowed with 4 daughters at the age of 44. That's not fair. That's shitty to be honest. She could have chosen to feel bad about it and go to everyone else to do things for her. But, she realized it's part of the whole spectrum of life thing, she carried on and did quite well. Yes, she is like the rest of us, and perhaps had some very rough days, weeks, months years, but overall, she rose above it and still made her life worth living.
My children have been through more in their lives than most people have by the time they reached adulthood. Their mother told them straight to their faces that she never wanted to have children, and then left them in the care of other people. Prior to that, they were living with her and my oldest, when I remind her that it's my job to be mom and not hers, says to me "it's hard to change when I basically had to be mom to my brother and sister from the time I was 4". They had more men in their lives to call "dad" than I have had underwear (ok, that may be an exaggeration, I don't wear underwear...hahahaha...I crack myself up), the home they lived in was filthy, with feces and other types of filth all over. And now look at them? They are gorgeous, thriving young people who have the world in front of them and realize they can be more than a waitress when they grow up. Sure their life is "not fair" but they wake up every morning with huge smiles on their faces ready to bring smiles to others.
So, while it may not be "fair". It's our own attitudes that make the difference on how we react to our situations.
You choose!
But to be honest, when I hear it from adults (or people who, merely by virtue of their age are adults) it's enough to send me reeling. I'm not talking about life things, "it's not fair that my father had to pass away" types of things, those are kind of expected. But, when you hear it from people who think "it's not fair that I got pulled over for a speeding ticket." or "it's not fair that someone makes more money than me." or anything along those lines, I just think to myself, are you kidding?
Life totally sucks sometimes and it's not fair. That's the way life is. So you have three options, do something to change your circumstance (don't speed, find another job, negotiate a pay rise), change your attitude, or sit and be pissed off about the situation.
At the end of the day it's your choice how you respond. I have so many examples around me of people who choose one of the first two options that I feel pathetic when I opt for the third.
My mother was widowed with 4 daughters at the age of 44. That's not fair. That's shitty to be honest. She could have chosen to feel bad about it and go to everyone else to do things for her. But, she realized it's part of the whole spectrum of life thing, she carried on and did quite well. Yes, she is like the rest of us, and perhaps had some very rough days, weeks, months years, but overall, she rose above it and still made her life worth living.
My children have been through more in their lives than most people have by the time they reached adulthood. Their mother told them straight to their faces that she never wanted to have children, and then left them in the care of other people. Prior to that, they were living with her and my oldest, when I remind her that it's my job to be mom and not hers, says to me "it's hard to change when I basically had to be mom to my brother and sister from the time I was 4". They had more men in their lives to call "dad" than I have had underwear (ok, that may be an exaggeration, I don't wear underwear...hahahaha...I crack myself up), the home they lived in was filthy, with feces and other types of filth all over. And now look at them? They are gorgeous, thriving young people who have the world in front of them and realize they can be more than a waitress when they grow up. Sure their life is "not fair" but they wake up every morning with huge smiles on their faces ready to bring smiles to others.
So, while it may not be "fair". It's our own attitudes that make the difference on how we react to our situations.
You choose!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Success!
Something seems to have finally clicked with T and school.
After two years of trials she passed off her 2 times tables last week. We started working on the threes Monday morning. Me prepared for another two years with her threes. But, she called me Wednesday at work to inform me that she had passed off her threes!!!
She had only been working on them for TWO DAYS!!! A HUGE improvement over the two years on the 2's. Not sure what's happening but she's finally got it.
Hooray for T and her times tables!
After two years of trials she passed off her 2 times tables last week. We started working on the threes Monday morning. Me prepared for another two years with her threes. But, she called me Wednesday at work to inform me that she had passed off her threes!!!
She had only been working on them for TWO DAYS!!! A HUGE improvement over the two years on the 2's. Not sure what's happening but she's finally got it.
Hooray for T and her times tables!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Heading for a Meltdown
I feel like I'm just a little too young for a mid-life crisis...if I'm really having one now then that means I'm only living until I'm 70...yes, far too young to be feeling like this.
Last time I felt anywhere near a total meltdown was a couple of years before the divorce. And then I lived with that near meltdown mentality for nearly four years. I have an uncanny way of being able to put on the happy face and make believe that I'm doing well. Back then there were no kids around so I only had to put on the happy face in public. Once I came home the facade was broken down and I had nearly nightly meltdowns. Although sometimes I could go weeks without even letting my husband see the cracks in the facade.
I was talking to a good friend and colleague, whom I also made feel uncomfortable the other day when I told him he sounds like a therapist...and perhaps that's why I'm able to talk to him so well...he costs a lot less than my last therapist. Anyway, I told him that I felt like I was losing grip on reality and that I was becoming obsessively neurotic about certain things in my life. As a result I made a life choice which I'm still not sure I made the right choice but it felt good at the time...as a result of my neuroses I'm of course, seconding guessing myself about the choice...anyway, back the conversation with the friend/colleague. When I told him I was becoming neurotic he seemed shocked and said that I didn't appear to be that way at all...interesting yes? Here I am thinking that everyone can see me falling apart one piece at a time and really, no one can see it. What does that say about me?
Either I deserve an Oscar "I'd like to thank all my fans, my mom and my dad, my brothers and sisters." (or is that my testimony?) Or it says that I don't rely on my support group nearly enough. I look around me and see the most amazing, fantastic group of individuals who are all there to support me in anyway they can. And the amazing thing about all of these people is they are so varied and different and have such different views on the world, life, God, everything that I could really get everything i need from them...if I allowed it. As I'm thinking about all of this I on my drive home the Matchbox Twenty Song - Unwell Came on the radio. For those unfamiliar, here are the words and you can go here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOPssHhyXec to hear the song (if there is a way to actually put the song on my blog can a more experienced blogger show me how?)
All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
How I used to be? I think that is the most difficult line for me to come to terms with. I tell people that I'm an onion (yes, I stole it from Shrek) I have multiple layers to me and those layers have developed over my life. I would guess that each one of you who reads this has a vision in your head of "how I used to be" and you would each be right. I think part of my neuroses is coming to terms with all of those different sides of me, accepting them and reconciling them with one another. How will that happen? When will that happen? How long will that happen? I don't know. But I do know this for sure: I sure do like myself better when I'm not neurotic!
And perhaps the Ofuro Bath
and Japanese stone massage on Friday will help out too...here's to hoping!
Last time I felt anywhere near a total meltdown was a couple of years before the divorce. And then I lived with that near meltdown mentality for nearly four years. I have an uncanny way of being able to put on the happy face and make believe that I'm doing well. Back then there were no kids around so I only had to put on the happy face in public. Once I came home the facade was broken down and I had nearly nightly meltdowns. Although sometimes I could go weeks without even letting my husband see the cracks in the facade.
I was talking to a good friend and colleague, whom I also made feel uncomfortable the other day when I told him he sounds like a therapist...and perhaps that's why I'm able to talk to him so well...he costs a lot less than my last therapist. Anyway, I told him that I felt like I was losing grip on reality and that I was becoming obsessively neurotic about certain things in my life. As a result I made a life choice which I'm still not sure I made the right choice but it felt good at the time...as a result of my neuroses I'm of course, seconding guessing myself about the choice...anyway, back the conversation with the friend/colleague. When I told him I was becoming neurotic he seemed shocked and said that I didn't appear to be that way at all...interesting yes? Here I am thinking that everyone can see me falling apart one piece at a time and really, no one can see it. What does that say about me?
Either I deserve an Oscar "I'd like to thank all my fans, my mom and my dad, my brothers and sisters." (or is that my testimony?) Or it says that I don't rely on my support group nearly enough. I look around me and see the most amazing, fantastic group of individuals who are all there to support me in anyway they can. And the amazing thing about all of these people is they are so varied and different and have such different views on the world, life, God, everything that I could really get everything i need from them...if I allowed it. As I'm thinking about all of this I on my drive home the Matchbox Twenty Song - Unwell Came on the radio. For those unfamiliar, here are the words and you can go here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOPssHhyXec to hear the song (if there is a way to actually put the song on my blog can a more experienced blogger show me how?)
All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
How I used to be? I think that is the most difficult line for me to come to terms with. I tell people that I'm an onion (yes, I stole it from Shrek) I have multiple layers to me and those layers have developed over my life. I would guess that each one of you who reads this has a vision in your head of "how I used to be" and you would each be right. I think part of my neuroses is coming to terms with all of those different sides of me, accepting them and reconciling them with one another. How will that happen? When will that happen? How long will that happen? I don't know. But I do know this for sure: I sure do like myself better when I'm not neurotic!
And perhaps the Ofuro Bath
and Japanese stone massage on Friday will help out too...here's to hoping!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
My Dad
Yesterday it was 17 years; 17 years since my dad passed away due to complications of congestive heart failure, kidney failure and a myriad of other illnesses. He was only 44 years old. I was 18, and his death occurred exactly one week to the day of my moving out of the family home and going to college.
My dad wasn’t perfect. Who is, and all the memories I have of him are at least 17 years old, and most are older and fading and perhaps those are the best ones to have because they’re the ones that mean the most to me.
Two days before dad died, he was laying in the hospital and had asked that I come up to visit him. I have always disliked hospitals and the last thing I wanted, as the selfish 18 year old that I was, was to see my dad, sick frail and dying in the hospital. But we all knew that he wasn’t going to live much longer and I agreed to the visit.
That evening I went into his hospital room and he was there in his bed and the biggest smile crossed his face to see me. Like I said, I don’t like hospitals so I hadn’t been up to see him much, if at all, since he had been there. I can still see that smile on his face, my son Loni has his smile so it’s easy to picture. Dad was really sick and didn’t have much strength but he asked me to come up to the top of his bed. He slid over in the bed and I cuddled up next to him.
Dad put his arms around me and pulled me in close to him. At that time we had a little chat, the last one I ever had with him; the last words of fatherly advice that he would ever give to me. You would think, that I would remember everything from that conversation word for word. You would think that I would be able to recall all the things he said to me, but it was an incredibly emotional time and I don’t remember it.
I do, however, remember bits and pieces of the conversation.
Dad told me that he wasn’t going to live much longer. He knew that he had less than 3 days to be here on the earth and that he needed to tie up all his loose ends. This statement, of course, brought a profundity of tears. No girl wants to hear that her dad is dying. I’m sure I told him that it wasn’t true that he would be okay and that he would get better, but I was wrong.
Dad repeated to me the things he had been telling me over and over again the last few years of his life. He told me how proud he was of me for being so successful in school and showing my two younger sisters that it is possible to finish high school and go on to college. He told me how proud he was of me for choosing to continue my education and warned me that it would be difficult but that he believed I could do it. He was proud of me for discovering and exploring and perfecting my talent in music and for not giving up on that. Then he told me the thing that has and will stick with me for the rest of my life.
My dad pulled me close to him and held me tight in his arms. He told me that I was beautiful and that I should never forget how beautiful I am. He told me to not get frustrated with men, that he knew I had never dated anyone but that the right man is out there for me. He also told me it would take me a long time to find that man, but he is out there waiting for someone as incredible as I am. He also told me to not settle for anyone less than what I deserve.
I was very uncomfortable and the last thing I wanted, as a selfish, 18 year old girl, was to be in a room with my dad who was dying. To an 18 year old life can go on forever and ever and I didn’t want that elusion to be taken away. So after a few more minutes of tears I left my dad…
Two days later I was fast asleep in my bed when my mom came into my room to tell me that she was going back to the hospital because dad had passed away…those few minutes in his room was the last I saw my dad alive.
So, on this day late anniversary, I thank my dad for instilling in me the hunger for education, to be all that I can be and to see my full potential as a musician, student and woman.
I love you dad!
My dad wasn’t perfect. Who is, and all the memories I have of him are at least 17 years old, and most are older and fading and perhaps those are the best ones to have because they’re the ones that mean the most to me.
Two days before dad died, he was laying in the hospital and had asked that I come up to visit him. I have always disliked hospitals and the last thing I wanted, as the selfish 18 year old that I was, was to see my dad, sick frail and dying in the hospital. But we all knew that he wasn’t going to live much longer and I agreed to the visit.
That evening I went into his hospital room and he was there in his bed and the biggest smile crossed his face to see me. Like I said, I don’t like hospitals so I hadn’t been up to see him much, if at all, since he had been there. I can still see that smile on his face, my son Loni has his smile so it’s easy to picture. Dad was really sick and didn’t have much strength but he asked me to come up to the top of his bed. He slid over in the bed and I cuddled up next to him.
Dad put his arms around me and pulled me in close to him. At that time we had a little chat, the last one I ever had with him; the last words of fatherly advice that he would ever give to me. You would think, that I would remember everything from that conversation word for word. You would think that I would be able to recall all the things he said to me, but it was an incredibly emotional time and I don’t remember it.
I do, however, remember bits and pieces of the conversation.
Dad told me that he wasn’t going to live much longer. He knew that he had less than 3 days to be here on the earth and that he needed to tie up all his loose ends. This statement, of course, brought a profundity of tears. No girl wants to hear that her dad is dying. I’m sure I told him that it wasn’t true that he would be okay and that he would get better, but I was wrong.
Dad repeated to me the things he had been telling me over and over again the last few years of his life. He told me how proud he was of me for being so successful in school and showing my two younger sisters that it is possible to finish high school and go on to college. He told me how proud he was of me for choosing to continue my education and warned me that it would be difficult but that he believed I could do it. He was proud of me for discovering and exploring and perfecting my talent in music and for not giving up on that. Then he told me the thing that has and will stick with me for the rest of my life.
My dad pulled me close to him and held me tight in his arms. He told me that I was beautiful and that I should never forget how beautiful I am. He told me to not get frustrated with men, that he knew I had never dated anyone but that the right man is out there for me. He also told me it would take me a long time to find that man, but he is out there waiting for someone as incredible as I am. He also told me to not settle for anyone less than what I deserve.
I was very uncomfortable and the last thing I wanted, as a selfish, 18 year old girl, was to be in a room with my dad who was dying. To an 18 year old life can go on forever and ever and I didn’t want that elusion to be taken away. So after a few more minutes of tears I left my dad…
Two days later I was fast asleep in my bed when my mom came into my room to tell me that she was going back to the hospital because dad had passed away…those few minutes in his room was the last I saw my dad alive.
So, on this day late anniversary, I thank my dad for instilling in me the hunger for education, to be all that I can be and to see my full potential as a musician, student and woman.
I love you dad!
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